One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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