talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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