He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
