Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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