i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So squirting runs in the family.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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