He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
