Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Im part way to drunk.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
