I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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