This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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