why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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