My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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