What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
