end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
