No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
