The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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