Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
