Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
