That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Success! We fucked roommates!
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