She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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