I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
