There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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