i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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