He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
