She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
