My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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