He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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