I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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