yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
