woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
