Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
