he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
