just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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