She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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