Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
