Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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