the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
