New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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