remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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