i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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