Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
