literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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