Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
