So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
