i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bang-toberfest begins!!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
