Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
smell my finger.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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