It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
