the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
