i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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