hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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