dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
this will be a night to untag.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
